Samantha Zehra Dzabic, Australia
I have lived on this beautiful, messy, crazy planet for 61 years. Quite a long time, enough time to analyze, review and grow!
I was born to a challenging family on a stormy Sunday morning in June in a small town in Bosnia. My childhood was tumultuous, and my youth even more so. I had a complex relationship with my parents, instability in life in general, nomadic lifestyle filled with lots of fear and uncertainty. For the longest time, I thought physical and verbal abuse was regular; that was how families behaved.
I would love to say that I managed to change my life and my behaviour early on, alas, life had to unfold in a very different way for me, and my healing came about slowly and painfully. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, so when I look back, I can see how my friendships shaped my path to recovery. One of the most influential people is a childhood friend who hadn’t abandoned me despite periods when I wasn’t lovable. This remarkable man always gave me so much love, understanding, kindness, and from time to time, a “come to your senses” talk. This friendship endured through good and bad times over the decades. We communicate daily – the wonder of technology enables us to laugh together and exchange feelings and thoughts between London and Sydney. He is my family in a true sense and always has been my haven, refuge, and safe place.
Late in life, I gathered a couple of other people who are here for me with their love and kindness, without seeking anything in return other than time with me. These beautiful souls are the family I consciously chose, the family I always wanted to have. They are that family that is kind, supportive, real, fun and loving – not in a “Hollywood” style, but in an authentic, human way. I treasure and cherish them – because I know how rare true friendships are. Friends can become family, whereas family is not always friendly. The adage “blood is thicker than water” holds no significant meaning for me – except for my children. I brought two beautiful boys into this world and made so many mistakes with both of them that haunt me today. But my gorgeous sons taught me forgiveness, showed me the meaning of real love, and gave me the strength to love myself and heal. And this is what true friends do – they love us, no matter what, they tell you the truth to your face, and they help you understand, grow and thrive. So love your friends, honour them, and keep them close.
Why did you decide to join our initiative? : Storytelling is the most human way of connecting. It’s important to share stories.
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